Pictured above is a collection of keys. The pair of keys on the left are to the Healey. They are nice and small, small enough to merit a little leather folding key holder so they aren’t lost in your pocket. The foursome of keys on the right include keys to the daily driven Saab and Miata, also a pocketable collection. The big plastic thing in the middle is the key to our newest addition, a Fiat 500 Abarth. Notice the bit of wire sitting between the Abarth key and the rest of the daily use keys? That’s the keyring that failed to keep the daily use collection corralled together. Adding the key to one vehicle made my key collection no longer pocketable. I was able to put them into my pocket with reasonable facility this morning. I drove the Healey today, it being a nice Friday and all nice Fridays being “drive your cool car to work day”. On arrival at my office, single-handed (I was holding a coffee) key removal was impossible with out destructive measures. This is asinine.

There is no reason the Abarth key needs to be as big as it is. Am I supposed to feel better about the car because it has a pants entangling folding key? I should be able to keep a reasonable collection of frequently used keys and have them stowable in the pockey of my jeans. This does not strike me as an unreasonable desire. Were I a hipster or otherwise prone to wearing overly tight pants, I would be prepared with the requisite male purse. But being a run of the mill middle aged jeans wearing nerd, I am not prepared for this level of clothing and belonging management.

I think the only solution for me is to drive old cars.